Is Online Dating Okay for Christians?

Should Christians be on dating apps? This is a question I see more than I'd expect, so I figured I'd throw in my two cents.


An important aspect to keep in mind is what the Bible says about dating. Here's what it says: nothing.


That's right. The Bible doesn't tell us anything about dating, because dating like we have today didn't exist at the time it was written. So unless you're planning on working seven years just to marry the wrong girl, or uncovering some guy's feet while he sleeps, you're out of luck on this one.


So what do we do? We start with what we know. We are to live morally upright lives and we are not to be yoked with unbelievers. AKA, only date other Christians, don't have sex outside of marriage, and treat one another with respect. After that, the rest is up to us.


The most common reason people give against using dating apps is that you aren't "trusting God" to bring your spouse in "His timing." But the fact of the matter is that if you want to find a significant other, you have to go where other single people are. Do we tell people in the church young adult group that they need to drop out of the group because they aren't trusting God's timing by attending a singles mixer? No! We encourage them to go and make connections. So why should the fact that this is happening online make any difference?


Since the whole premise is ridiculous and has no Biblical basis, here are my tips for online dating as a Christian--coming from someone who's been on both Christian and secular dating apps.


  1. Be upfront about the importance of your faith. Just because a person says they're Christian doesn't mean they live out their faith. Ask him what his faith means to him. His answer will tell you a lot about where he stands.

  2. Anticipate getting ghosted. It sucks, but I never once had a guy tell me he wasn't interested anymore. Either I did the letting down, or I got ghosted. It doesn't mean you did anything wrong, instead it shows the character of the other person that they couldn't even tell you goodbye. Dodged a bullet there.

  3. Anticipate telling people you're not interested. Just because ghosting has become the "norm" doesn't make it okay. You'll probably have to tell quite a few people you're no longer interested. Trust me, as stressful as that can be, it's much better received than just never hearing from that person again. Raise the standard--don't ghost.

  4. Talk on the phone as soon as possible. It's easy to be smooth or personable over text. If you are thinking about meeting up with someone for a date--call them first. This will show so much more of their personality and give you a good idea if it's worth your time or not.

Got any other online dating tips? Post them in the comments and help a friend out! Best of luck out there everyone!

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